Nice – a love substitute
11 July 2004 – Jem Clines: "I often catch myself doing 'nice' as an easy way out. Nice – a love substitute. That sucks. Jesus wouldn't like it, even if your mother would..." An easy way out of loving your neighbours involves being nice instead.
Love of neighbour doesn't have much to do with being nice.
Niceness is life at its most boring.
A life lived insipidly and nicely comes lower down my list than eating my own arm.
I'm talking of a certain sort of nice – the type that stops us thinking about anything but blah.
"Nice" can even persuade us to do things we don't even care about.
Take enthusiasm in religion – perhaps there's nothing more godless than that! (yes, that's a quote!).
True religion doesn't breed a self-satisfied pleasure in religious activity. NO! – that is esoteric masturbation in the name of religion – not much better than going to war in religion's name.
I often catch myself doing "nice" as an easy way out. Nice – a love substitute. That sucks.
Jesus wouldn't like it, even if your mother would.
Here's a handy anti-nice test – chose the top 3 people you know that you'd like to call you in the event of a trauma.
The first time I did the test, people who'd just be nice to me didn't even make the top 40!
Those who could clean the shit off of me while making me laugh and bringing the beer – they took the medals.
My loving neighbours take the piss and offer challenge instead of platitude.
A non-platitude I got this week was a friend's support for my writing project. "Just ***** do it!" She also said, "if I weren't in church I'd fill the blanks".
And seeing as we're in "church" here, this is my advice to all of us. Loving our neighbours – just ***** do it. And love your neighbour! No more Mr Nice Guy!
Even if your mother wouldn't like it, might Jesus?
Amen.
Rev. Jem Clines is chaplain of York St John's College in York, England, and regularly leads services in Church of Fools.
